"They're going to know you have no idea what you're doing."
There's a voice in my head that shows up when I'm in a room with people more senior than me. When I'm presenting to stakeholders. When I'm the only non-engineer in a technical meeting, nodding like I definitely know what a service mesh is.
And it says the same thing every time, word for word: "They're going to know that you have no fucking idea what you're doing."
I've been in tech for about 15 years. I still have it. So this isn't a "how I beat imposter syndrome" post. It's a "how I keep working with it" post.
Where mine really kicked in
Apple. Because… it's Apple. I was sure someone had made a clerical error. I'm not smart enough for that. Those people are Apple people.
Spoiler: I was an Apple person. The voice just never got the memo.
What it latches onto
For me, it's the way my brain handles focus. Focusing is hard, so I'm convinced I don't absorb things the way I should, or to the level that's expected of me. Everyone else seems to walk out of a meeting with the whole picture. I walk out with 37 tabs open and a nagging feeling I missed the important part.
Yours might latch onto something else: no degree, not coding, a career path that zigzagged, being the newest person in the room. The voice isn't picky. It'll use whatever's closest.
The evidence the voice ignores
Every job I've ever landed.
Think about it. Either I've successfully fooled every hiring panel for 15 years, which would honestly be a skill in itself, or I know what I'm doing. I can't be that good at convincing people I know what I'm doing if I really don't.
What actually helps (honestly)
Validation from other people helps. It also doesn't come very often. So here's what's worth trying, for you and for me:
- Save the good stuff when it comes. Screenshot the kind message. Forward the nice email to yourself. When validation is rare, don't let it disappear. (That's what the kudos tab in my free brag doc is for.)
- Keep evidence, not vibes. The voice runs on feelings. A running list of what you've actually done is hard for it to argue with.
- Recognize the sentence. The voice says the same thing every time. When you notice it, you can call it what it is: the alert, not the truth.
- Give the validation you wish you got. Tell a coworker exactly what they did well. It costs nothing, and someone in that meeting probably has the voice too.
If you've got the voice too: you're in very good company. And you're probably a lot better at this than it says.
What does your imposter voice say? Tell me →